shelly

Monday, 4 April 2011

Revelation

I did not know that I could write my name
With your anger,
In my own blood.

© shellyhu

Saturday, 2 April 2011

I sit humiliated.
White paper empty.
Black Biro silent.
Its scratchings prevented from occurring,
As it lies beside its master.

My eyes rove around the room.
No eyes meet mine.
Heads are bent to paper.
Brown hands diligently writing away,
And I tremble slightly.

The feeling of not belonging creeps over me and begins to suffocate and I wonder why I am here.

The clock is ticking nearby.
The scribbling continues all around.
With the exception of where I sit.
I sit humiliated.

© shellyhu

Saturday, 26 March 2011

Thought.

Within the deepest parts of me
I know what I truly want,
But I tell no one.
And God? He already knows.

© shellyhu

Saturday, 19 February 2011

Only Human

At times I feel like I don't belong anywhere.
Always having to prove the goodness of my heart,
And my intentions.

Your dislike for me becomes a dislike for myself.

How do I stop your thoughts from clouding, and becoming, mine;
Ingested and digested but never excreted.
Too much waste for one person to carry (around).

To you, my exterior is like a cactus.
But to me, on the inside, I am the plant without sunlight:
Fragile.
© shellyhu

Saturday, 5 February 2011

Crickets In My Bed

Sometimes I cannot breathe,

Oftentimes I cannot sleep.
And I wonder...

My heart tells me I loved you first.
According to them He was there before,
And I wonder if my heart is big enough for the both of you.

You are all consuming and I want it this way.
I have names for you: Friend. Lover. Husband. Soulmate.
But I am promised to someone else - that is what they tell me.

Humanly speaking, you are the closest person to me.
Yet, at night, when the lights are out and my bed remains cold
I speak to Him.

There are fragments of me that you are not privy to.
I feel the need to hide the smallest parts of me,
And offer them as proof that He has all of me.
Am I kidding myself?

His message of Love is how my life should be;
Everything else is just a mass of confusion.
I feel myself changing and within the deepest parts of me
Metamorphosis is painful.

My throat aches from holding back the 10,000 tears
That threaten to drown us both.
I feel like I'm fighting for the three of us,
And I wonder if my heart is big enough.

Sometimes I cannot breathe,
Oftentimes I cannot sleep.
And I wonder...
© shellyhu